Happy Halloween?

I've had my second chemo therapy treatment today. I'm not feeling so good. I'm sweating, and have a headache. Michelle, Kenney, and Addie are out trick or treating. I'm home by my self, giving out candy and watching TV.

There wasn't as much pain this time, though it did hurt when they accessed my port. The infusion went fine, and I wasn't feeling bad till the last few hours. I don't know if it is due to the Darvon I took at 1:15 this afternoon wearing off, or if it is from the treatment itself.

I had some heartburn, and chewed some Tums around 7:30, then had a grilled cheese sandwich and a slice of cheesecake, followed by several small candy bars.(It IS Halloween after all).

Michelle, Kenney and Addie are home. Kenney is having an asthma attack, Addie is getting ready for bed, and Michelle has to go feed the horses. It is 10:30 PM. Ain't life grand!

Mike will be home on Friday afternoon. He called this evening, from Norway. I'll be glad when he is home, to help out.

My heartburn is coming back, and my hands are shaking very slightly.

2nd treatment

I'm having my 2nd treatment tomorrow. I'll have to be at MDACC by 12:00PM for a blood test, to see if I'm well enough to have more chemo. My treatment is scheduled for 2:00. So far, my only side effects have been tiredness, and heart burn. I still have all my hair, and no other problems. I expectto have more side effects before this time next week. Tune in next time...;-D

my lump

I decided to take pictures of my lump. When it gets smaller, I'll have something to compare it to. Here are 2 of the pictures I took. It isn't easy to photograph something on yourself. The slight bruising is from a biopsy done last Wednesday, for a case study I signed up for.
I noticed that it is smaller than it was last week. I don't know if it is early to notice a difference, but my skin isn't as tight over it, and it is definitely smaller in diameter. Woo WHoo!

Monday

I don't know what to expect. I thought that I would feel stronger before the next treatment. I figured that I would be ill, for 2-3 days after the chemo, and slowly gain strength till, by Tuesday, I would feel nearly normal. Instead, I'm feeling weaker each day. I tried to clean the horse's stalls yesterday and today. I did Indy's and 1/2 of Birdie's yesterday, and most of Rosie's today. Usually, I would be able to clean all 3 in the same day. I feel OK most of the time, but when I try to get something done, I crap out before I can finish. I guess it's something I'm going to have to get used to. Mike will be back in town on Friday. I'm going to try and keep up with the stalls till then, but I may not be able to. I tire easily.
I was going to try and go to work tomorrow, but instead, I'm staying home. I may drive out to the farm with a friend, but I'm not going to try and work before Mike gets home to help me. Maybe if I just had to drive and saddle up and ride, without feeding, and cleaning up after the horses, I'll be able to handle it. I sure hope so.

Sunday PM

I drove out to the farm this afternoon. It is almost exactly 30 miles, one direction, from my house to the farm. I took several things out that I had been storing in the garage, and at the stables. I also took my camera, but forgot to put the memory card back in it after downloading the pictures I took this morning. :-( Oh Well, I'll take some next time.
In the barn, the sellers left some stuff, including a big box of fence staples, 2 first aid kits, a radial arm saw, a circular saw, several tackle boxes, several fishing rods, 2, 300ft tape measures, and an assortment of other stuff that escapes me right now.
I started marking off where I want to work on the fence so we can get ready to move the horses out there. There are some ceder fence posts, and several coils of barbed wire lying around. I want to put up horse safe fence, but until I can afford to replace it, I'm going to run a "hot" wire inside the existing barbed wire, to keep the horses out of it.
There are some fence posts set in the ground in the pasture where they were cross fencing it, without wire, that I'm going to use to make a separate area for feeding the horses.

Sunday AM

Well, chemo is draining my energy. I wasn't able to clean 3 stalls. I managed 1 1/2 stalls, but that was all I could handle. The horses got turned out with 3 that belong to a friend, so they got exercise and grass. didn't take my pain med. before I went out, to see if that was what was making me tired. It wasn't. I took it on the way home due to my hips and lower back screaming at me.

Garage sale

I had a garage sale yesterday and today. I may have made $35.00 total. Not worth the effort. Next time, I'll freecycle, or flat donate stuff.

I'm tired. I didn't do that much today but I'm very tired. Maybe the Chemo is catching up with me.

Tomorrow I need to clean the horses stalls, before they get so bad I can't keep up with them. I also want to head out to the farm and start taking stuff out to lock in the barn for now, and I have 2 cans of wasp spray to take care of the little red flying menaces out there.

day 2, post treatment

I'm feeling good. I guess I'm not going to have much problem with this first treatment.

The Dr gave me some of my test results from 10/18. I show no sign of cancer, other than the tumor in my breast. He didn't have the CAT scan yet, but everything else looks good. One of the pathologists said my tumor may have been growing soooo fast, because it is dead in the center, due to shutting off it's own blood supply.

I'm having a garage sale today and tomorrow. Sunday,after cleaning the stalls, I'm hauling some stuff to the farm, to lock in the barn. Unless I feel bad, I'm going to work on Tuesday, and will have treatment 2 on Wednesday.

day after...

Well, the day after has been interesting. I went to bed around 11:30 or so, and fell asleep fairly quickly for me since I couldn't find my benadryl, and can't take Tylenol PM, since it can mask a fever. I woke up at 5:30, and couldn't get back to sleep. I never have trouble sleeping in in the morning, but I lay awake till 8:00 before I gave up and got up. I fiddled around here, then went out and fed the horses. I headed for MDACC around 12:30. I had a 2:00 class on chemo therapy and a 1:15 EKG for the study I signed up for that deals with using Tibetan Yoga to help manage Chemo side effects. When the class was over I asked the nurse running it about the numbing cream that I needed for my port. She sent me to the front desk to ask for Gina, Dr Puszti's clinical nurse. I waited, and waited for them to call me. Finally, I went back up to the desk and asked for her again. She had called the prescription down to the pharmacy, but nobody told me. It was 4:00 by this time.
I went down to the pharmacy and checked that they had my prescription, and sat down to wait. At 4:55, they finally had it ready for me. I wasted 1.5-2 hours waiting for it, but after last night, it was worth every penny.
As for side effects, I feel fine. appetite is good, no nausea, or anything like that. It is early yet...

treatment picture

each Wednesday after my treatment, I'll post a picture taken with my grandson, so you can see how I look as I lose hair, weight etc. Here is the first one. I know, his hair is beautiful. Don't call him a girl though.

First treatment

Well, I survived my first treatment. I had to be at MDACC at 8:00 AM for a blood test, and a Dr's appt. at 8:30. I signed up for a clinical study that involves an extra biopsy before and after my first treatment, and a case study to see if yoga helps cancer patients deal with Chem better. I was there till 12:00.

Went back at 4:30, with my daughter driving. Checked in and waited. Appointment was for 5:00, but they didn't call me in till 5:30. Because this was my first time, and my port hadn't been used before, they had to get a specially trained nurse to put in the line. They didn't get her there till 6:30. BOY did that HURT!!! She dug around for what seemed like 5 minutes, but was probably more like 30-60 sec. She kept saying "relax your arm", while I was trying to keep from reaching over with my other arm and knocking her on her ass!
When she was finally done and had taped everything down they gave me my pre-meds. Basically, steroids to minimize side effects. This took about 30 min. Then came the main event. 180 ml of toxal administered over 60 min. Meanwhile they had a blood pressure cuff on my other arm and took my pressure and temp, about every 30 min. This took till about 8:40. they then had to flush out the cath. with saline, and then heparin, to keep it clear for next time, then removed the damn thing. That hurt too, but was over quickly. They gave me the name of a numbing cream I can request for next time, so it won't hurt so much.
We were home by 9:30. I don't feel bad, just tired. The side effects are cumulative, and will get worse as we go along.
Tomorrow, I go in for a class on Chemo, and a EKG as well as a repeat biopsy.
I'm going to have a slice of cheese cake, and go to bed.

more hair pictures

These pictures were taken at the farm the day after we closed on the property.

treatment start date

I start my Chemo tomorrow. I kept nagging MDACC and they have me starting at 5:00 PM Wed. 24. I have to be at MDACC at 8:00 for a blood draw, followed by an appointment with the oncologist at 8:30. Then I have the whole day to wait before Chem at 5:00.
This may seem strange, but it feels like my birthday, or Christmas. I've been so worried about waiting the extra week, and giving the tumor more time to grow. Yeah!!!

treatment ?

I still haven't heard from MDACC about moving up my treatment to this week instead of next. I'm calling in the morning, and will keep calling till I get an answer. My lump is so large now that I can see it when my arms are at my sides. Last week, I had to raise my arm to see it, and 2 weeks ago, I had to press my hand around it to push the skin down. I'm getting scared, and angry. Maybe I made a mistake not starting Chemo with KS.
The Dr obviously thinks a week won't make a difference, but this has gone from golf ball size to duck egg in 6 weeks.

My hair

I have the rest of the pictures of my hair cut. Here they are. Thank-you to my friend Cathy for cutting my hair, and sending me the pictures so I can share with all of you. I loaded them wrong. The first image is the finished hair cut. The second one is after she cut off the braids.

step 2 haircut

Here is my hair right before she started cutting. I'm saving the braids, making a small linen cap/bonnet, and sewing the braids into it, so that I'll have hair when I go to an SCA event.

Thank-you

Just want to tell all my readers thank-you for the warm wishes, good thoughts and prayers. I get several emails a day from all over the country, and read every one, then save them to a folder in yahoo mail, so that I can re-read them when I'm feeling low. I may not send you a reply, but your message is appreciated.
I got a note from the Dr's scheduler that she was forwarding my question to the Dr's nurse. I hope to hear back today about starting treatment.
I've included a picture of me right before I had my hair cut. I'll post after shots as I get them.

Waiting...

I hate waiting!!! I've had a battery of tests. The Dr has canceled the scheduled mammogram and ultra-sound for 10/23. I suppose he decided that the ones done last month were good enough. Now, he wants me to wait till 10/31 to start chemo. I don't want to wait any longer than I have to. I want to start fighting this thing NOW, not 10 days from now. I've emailed my Dr's scheduler to ask if there is any particular reason I can't start this week. I don't expect to hear back before Monday, but I hope they say I can start this week instead.

We went out to the farm today. Michelle, Kenney and Addie had never been out there to see it. We walked all 49+ acres. It is all ours! Yeah! I can hardly wait to get started on water, electric, and septic, so we can see about moving out there. We will work on pasture fence first, so the horses can go and be turned out since I won't be working a whole lot right now, and they need exercise. Being in pasture will cut our feed bill too. they won't need fed twice a day if they are on good grass. Once a day will be good enough. They won't know what to do with all that grass.:-)

I bought the farm!!!

Good News! This morning we signed the papers and turned over the cashier's check for the down payment on our 49+ acre dream. I'm so excited! This is the beginning of realizing a lifelong dream of owning enough land to pasture my horses. My dream has grown to include enough land to board horses for other people, to provide space for the local SCA group to hold events, and to eventually have a small, model farm/petting zoo for educational field trips, company picnics and the like. The farm has 3 large ponds on it for livestock water, and fishing. They are big enough for a rowboat or canoe.
Michelle wants to raise goats for milking, to make cheese, to sell to high end restaurants. I want them, and or sheep, to act as lawn mowers in the area designated for SCA use, as they would keep the grass and weeds short, and won't leave large "Land Mines" to be stepped in, like cows and horses leave behind.

I could go on for pages about my plans to make this a paying business, but not today.

testing day

I spent the day at the MD Anderson Breast Clinic, getting poked and prodded. The day started at 9:00AM, with a chest x-ray and blood work. Then a shot of radioactive stuff, and orders to drink at least a liter of liquid in the next 2 hours, and return for a bone scan. During the 2 hour wait, I attended a free information class, including lunch, about when to go to the emergency room while you are being treated for cancer. The bone scan meant lying on my back for 25 minutes, not moving, while the scanned my bones for possible cancer. 2:00 was an orientation class for patients and family members. After 2:45 no food, or dairy products, and report for a CAT scan at 5:20. I drank 3 cups of barium, and had an iodine IV, then a cat scan of my chest and abdomen. This actually took 2 hours prep and about 15 min for the scan. I had to drink 2 cups 1.5 hours before and one more right before the scan. They put in an IV shunt, and started the iodine IV 1/2 way through the scan. That was the last test of the day and finished up at 7:45 PM. I'm probably glowing in the dark about now.

Thank-God that is over. Tomorrow will be much better, cause We get to close on the property.

MDACC

Well, I'm in!!! I went to MDACC today, filled out the paperwork, and had my first appointment with my oncologist. I have to go back tomorrow, at 9:00 AM, and won't be finished till 8:00PM. They want to do chest X-rays, Blood work, Bone scan, Patient/ family Orientation,and a CAT scan. Next Tuesday, they will do a Mammogram, and an Ultrasound of my breasts. After that, I'll be starting Chemo. I don't know what day. The Dr said I would be in treatment for 9 months minimum. He wants to do Chemo for 24 weeks. 12 weeks of a single drug, weekly, followed by 4, 3 week cycles of a 3 drug cocktail,( drug 1 week, and 2 weeks to recover) and then surgery, and radiation, and depending on what markers are on the tumor, possible an oral drug follow up.He said the first drug's side effects are just hair loss and fatigue, but the second drugs' side effects are, nausea-vomiting, mouth sores, etc.

I went to my friend Cathy today to have my hair cut off short since I'll be losing it soon anyway, and short hair is easier to care for. She took pictures, but I didn't get them from her yet. I'll post them when I do.

MDACC

I went to MDACC today to get the ball rolling. I'm going to meet with my oncologist tomorrow, at about 5:00 PM. I don't know when he will start my treatment, but it will be weekly treatments with one drug for 12 weeks, followed by 4 weekly treatments with another drug, then surgery, and maybe more chemo and/or radiation. There will be more tests before chemo starts.
I had a heart scan today, at St. Luke's, ordered by the KS oncologist. I told the technician that I was transferring to MDACC, and he gave me a copy of the images to take with me. When I was finished at MDACC, I called KS and canceled my Chemo for tomorrow. That was easier than I thought it would be. I'm comfortable with my decision, and looking forward to getting started.

I've come to a decision...

I've made my decision. If we can get our insurance company to OK MDACC, I'm willing to wait a few extra days to begin treatment. I've said all along that I wanted to go with MDACC, but I didn't have anything solid to base this on besides their stellar reputation. I've been looking for something to help me in this, and late last night/early this morning, I found it. The oncologist at KS is a young, board certified oncologist, the MDACC is an associate professor of oncology, an MD and PhD. He teaches young Dr's how to treat cancer. Once I read his bio., my decision was clear, and I was able to go to bed, and sleep.
The only obstacle in our way at this point is getting our insurance company to approve the switch. That has to happen before I go to my first appointment with the MDACC Dr. tomorrow.

On a different note, I got my P.A.S.port put in yesterday. We were at the hospital at 6:30 AM yesterday, and the procedure didn't begin till 11:15. Now I don't usually get out of bed before 8:00 AM, due to working a late shift, and staying up several hours after work to unwind. Yesterday I had to get up at 5:00, and leave the house at 6:00.

Monday...

Well, tomorrow, (Monday) is decision day. I get my port/central line put in, at St. Lukes, and talk to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center again about my treatment. Depending on what they have to say at MDACC, I may be starting Chemo on Wednesday.
I've about decided, when it is time for surgery, I'm going for a double mastectomy, with self reconstruction, using tissue from my abdomen. My tumor is so fast growing that it's likely to reoccur, and I'd rather not have to do this again if I can help it. I've nursed all the kids I'm likely to, my breasts are so large I have grooves in my shoulders from my bra straps, and low back pain. If I only have a single mastectomy, they won't make the reconstructed breast match the remaining breast, as it is too big, and it will need to be reduced. If they are going to operate on it anyway, remove it and be done with it. I understand that this surgery can be very painful, during healing, but I think I would rather take this course of action, and not have to worry so much about developing cancer in the remaining breast, at a later date.

more info

I'm having a hard time. On one hand, I want to go to MDACC for my treatment, but they just got my test results, and mammogram films on Friday( yesterday). The Pathologist has seen them, but the oncologist hasn't. The earliest I can be seen there is Wednesday, and who knows how soon I can begin treatment after that.
On the other hand, I've see a Kelsey Seybold Oncologist, and am all ready to begin treatment, starting with having a PASport/central line inserted on Monday, a heart scan on Tuesday, and beginning Chemo on Wednesday. The drug combo they want to use includes these 2 drugs: Cyclophosphamide (Cytoxan) and Doxorubicin (Adriamycin). A usual time table for chemo is one week on, 2 weeks to recover, but this Dr wants to do one week on, one week off. I'll lose all my hair, even eyebrows and lashes. I have to stop all my supplements, except a daily, multi vitamin. This is a big decision, and no one can make it for me. A wrong step could cost me...
I should hear from MDACC on Monday. Getting through the weekend is going to be very hard.

Update

I went to see an oncologist today. She wants to start my Chemo on Wednesday. My tumor is already noticeably larger than it was when I went for the first Dr's appointment, back in September, just a month ago. This is the Dr. from Kelsey Seybold, not M.D. Anderson. If I go with KS, and begin the chemo on Wed., I'll lose all body hair before the second round of Chemo, and will be having Chemo every other week, for 4 cycles, a total of 8 weeks. Usually they do a round of 1 week on and 2 weeks off, but this is a very fast growing tumor, and they want to hit it hard.
There is a possibility of still going to MDACC. I should hear from them on Monday sometime. I have to go in early Monday morning to get a Central line put in for the administration of the Chemo drugs.

The lab that did my biopsy lab work screwed up. They told me that they had sent my pathology slides to MDACC on 10/3/07. I found out today that not only hadn't they sent them anywhere, but they hadn't even given my KS oncologist the follow up information that the MDACC pathologist wanted to see, that had the markers to tell if it would be receptive to hormones, etc. It has been a rather frustrating day. By the time we got the information from Lab Corp to MDACC pathology, The oncologist had gone for the day, so he won't get to see the file, or discuss the diagnosis with pathology till Monday, after KS has inserted the PASport line.

My KS oncologist wants me to have a full body PAT scan done to make sure there isn't any cancer growing anywhere else in my body, and she wants it before my Chemo, but they couldn't schedule it till after the first round of chemo is finished. I'm also supposed to have some other test on Tuesday, that involves dye, and imaging but I can't remember what it is or where I'm to go for it.
I need to call C.A. and talk to her about my hair, and how to get a wig made from my own, and my son's hair. If I'm going to lose it anyway, I'm cutting it short first, and getting something done with it.

Buying the farm

These are pictures of the ponds and barn on the land we are buying. We have a closing date of Friday 10/19/07. It is 49 acres in Ft. Bend County, near Needville Texas. I am doing a happy dance! I've been trying to buy land since Feb-Mar of this year. This is the third property we have tried to buy.

my cancer

I'm getting more anxious about my cancer the more I read. I found out that the dead cells in my tumor are a bad sign that the tumor is growing so fast that it is choking off it's own blood supply. Fast growing explains why I didn't notice it till very recently, but it also means aggressive. I don't want to have a mastectomy, but it may be the best treatment. If not, I most likely will have to have chemotherapy first, to shrink the tumor down to a size that they can remove in a lumpectomy. I'm determined to beat this thing, but waiting is driving me nuts!

Not much new

There isn't much new to report. I won't meet with the first oncologest until Friday 10/12, so there won't be much to report before that.
I'm hoping we can close on our new property that morning, so that will be good news.
Waiting is hard. I bought a book written by a cancer survivor to help me cope. I really love all the messages of love and support I'm getting from friends and family.

information ABC news site

Hello friends,
ABC News has a wonderful site on breast cancer. I recommend anyone with questions go to their site and see what they have. It is great! It is helping me to wait on my treatment. I'm asking my friends to check there first, then if they still have questions, I'll try and answer them AFTER I've been to the oncologist.

gotta get ready for work see you later

Diagnosis, and thank-you

Before I get technical, I want to say thank-you to everyone who has offered prayers and help. Know that I'm saving all those notes in a folder to re-read when I'm feeling down.

My diagnosis reads:
Lesion designated right axillary tail at 10 o'clock:
-Breast tissue with poorly-differentiated carcinoma, favoring invasive ductal carcinoma, nuclear grade 3.

COMMENT: This tissue block will be submitted for a breast prognostic panel with report to appear under separate cover.
This is a poorly-differentiated malignant neoplasm with extensive necrosis. An in-situ component is not found, although the specimen is scanty. The possibility of a metastatic lesion cannot be entirely excluded.

News

Hi All,
I just heard from MD Anderson Cancer Center. It looks like they can see me on Wed. Oct 17th for a new patient appointment. This is my choice for treatment, as they are the best in the world for Cancer treatment.
Gotta go shovel poop. More later. :-D
Laura

bad news about my lump

Well, I got the news today that I have breast cancer. I don't know what treatment I'll be getting. I need an appointment with an oncologest. I'm calling MD Anderson in the morning.
I'm tired, so good night.

My Lump

I have a hen-egg sized lump in my right arm pit. It appeared over night about a month ago. I've been squashed in a mammogram, ultra-sounded, and punched full of holes for a biopsy. Tomorrow I meet with the Dr. to hear test results. I have on family history of breast cancer, nursed 3 children, take vitamins, never smoked, drink very little, and exercise in a nonorganized way during the course of caring for 3 horses. I'm post menapausel, but over weight. I'm trying not to worry, but...