my cancer

I'm getting more anxious about my cancer the more I read. I found out that the dead cells in my tumor are a bad sign that the tumor is growing so fast that it is choking off it's own blood supply. Fast growing explains why I didn't notice it till very recently, but it also means aggressive. I don't want to have a mastectomy, but it may be the best treatment. If not, I most likely will have to have chemotherapy first, to shrink the tumor down to a size that they can remove in a lumpectomy. I'm determined to beat this thing, but waiting is driving me nuts!