I'ts beginning to look a lot like Christmas...09

My daughter and grandson helped me to decorate my house for Christmas today. I have a cute,2 foot high, real, live tree, with roots. It is an Italian stone pine tree. In the Spring, I'll plant it outside. I had wanted a slightly larger tree to start with, but Home Depot only had these, a 5-6 foot juniper, a Norfolk pine, or a Rosemary herb tree. Since I wanted a real tree that can go outside, into the ground, We bought this.

I'm home from the hospital, with 7 new prescriptions, and a nebulizer, for breathing treatments. I had a blockage remover from my right bronchial tube on Wednesday. It had an immediate affect on my breathing. The tube was 90-95% blocked when I was breathing, and as soon as I coughed, it closed totally. It's no wonder I couldn't clear that lung...They put in a stint, to make sure the airway stays open. I feel SO much better now. I have 10 more days of 2 different antibiotics, to make sure the pneumonia is all finished. I'll be starting on the xeloda tomorrow. No more vacation for my lung tumors. I'm ready to kick tumor butt.

12/15/09

I'm back in the hospital, and I have pneumonia again. There is a small growth in my right bronchi and they will try and remove it tomorrow, thinking it is the source of the bleeding in my lungs, and the sours of the bloody phloem that I've been coughing up. Prayers are requested...

Some good news...

I met with my neurosurgeon yesterday, after a follow-up MRI on my brain. The tumor has shrunk almost 70% in just 30 days post treatment, with no sign of further bleeding or fluid in the brain. This is great news for me. He wants to follow up with another MRI in 2-3 months. I'll be totally weaned off the steroids I've been on since October 23, in another 6 days. I;m really looking forward to being steroid free, as I've been fighting with Chinese Face Syndrome, as I heard it is called. I gained over 26 pounds in the time I've been on the steroids. The good news is, while I was hospitalized for pneumonia, they put me on Lasix, and I lost over 10 pounds of excess water weight. I'm back on the Atkins diet to try and shed the rest of the weight. I can't stand being this heavy, and I'm weak from the steroids, so that just walking up 4 steps to my back door is a struggle. The last 6-7 weeks have been a real struggle for me, but I'm looking forward to the Christmas Holiday.

Unfortunately, my eyes aren't doing well. The herpes seems to be under control, but the corneas are damaged, and they haven't improved as much as the Dr would like, and I feel they are slightly worse. I saw her yesterday, and she prescribed an additional eye drop, and increased the dosage of the one I was already on. My vision is blurred almost constantly and I have a hard time reading or watching TV. Being on the computer is different, as I can get right up on the screen of my lap-top and see what is there, but it can be a strain.

Update 12/4/09

Well, my lung tumors have advanced. I'm not sure, but I think we have lost considerable ground. I feel like we are almost back at the place I was 6 months ago. The good news, I've started on an oral chemotherapy that I can take at home. I started it this morning. I will take it twice a day, every day for 2 weeks, then take a week off. I'm also going to try an alternative therapy that is compatible with the chemo. I have to order the stuff, and haven't done that yet. I haven't gotten my Dr's OK on it either.

We have snow at the farm, today. It started with rain and switched to snow about 7:30 AM. I took a bunch of pictures on my phone, but I don't have the right software on my lap top to download the pictures. I want to down load them to my desktop computer, but It won't connect with the desk top.

My eyes

...are much better. The drops are cut back to 5 times per day, from 9 times per day. I'm to continue the Valtrex, 3 times a day for 10 more days, then I'll be on it once per day for quite a while as a precaution. The Dr is concerned about my corneas. My right cornea is the worst. The Dr is taking pictures of it each time I go in. She said it isn't typical, and she is worried that I may be developing veins in them as they try to heal. For now, there isn't anything blocking my vision, so she is just watching ...

I'm seeing my oncologist tomorrow. The tumors in my lungs are growing again, due to no chemo as we deal with the tumor in my brain. I'm hoping that we will be starting chemo up again soon.

The Lyrica is continuing to help with the numbness and tingling in my hands and feet. It is nice to know that there is something I can take to help.

Sunday 11/29/09

We have had 2 Thanksgiving feasts here. One on the day, at my niece's, and one here at the farm yesterday. Lots of good food. 2 turkeys on Thursday, 3 yesterday. One fried, one brined then baked, and one smoked. YUMMY! Sides were delicious, but we could have doubled the amount. The desserts were, and are, to die for. We have had every kind of pie, chocolate cake, rice pudding, you name it, we probably had some.

My hands have started to tingle, like they are asleep. I contacted MDACC on Wednesday, to see if another step down in steroids was possible. The nurse in neurology referred me to my primary care Dr. because the Brain one was off for the holiday. He is my medical oncologist. He increased my steroids back to 4 times a day, and wants me to continue at this dose till he sees me this next Wednesday. It isn't going to happen. I've increased to 4 times a day, with no change in symptoms, so I'm cutting back to 3 per day, and calling my neurosurgeon tomorrow. My hands are tingling constantly, and now the tremors are back, as well as the agitation I was experiencing before. Why can't my life be simple, or easy? The steroids make me crazy!

Happy Thanksgiving 2009

Leaving soon to drive across Houston for a fun filled day of family and feasting. I hope you and yours have the same.

Tuesday, 11/24/09

Well, it looks like my eye infection is Herpes. I've been back to MDACC the last 2 days, and will be returning today, to see a corneal specialist, as the virus is eroding into my corneas. My eyes are very painful right now, though not as bad today as yesterday. I'm taking my pain medication so that I can stand to open my eyes. When I awoke yesterday, my eyes were worse, to the point of not being able to open them at all due to extrema pain... A couple of pain pills later, and I was feeling somewhat better. At my appointment, they said that the eyes were worse...I'm now on anti-viral drops, Valtrex oral antiviral pills, and an antibiotic ointment. I feel like there is already some improvement...

We are planning on eating Thanksgiving dinner at my niece's house on Thursday, and a second feast here at the farm on Saturday...to include several farm raised ducks.

Friday 11-19-09

My parents are in town for Thanksgiving. They are at my sisters for now, but will split their time between us. I'm looking forward to spending time with them.


I'm still treating my eye infection. Drops in each eye every 4 hours. My eyes are still pink, but no longer red. The drops burned at first, but that has faded. It seems a stubborn bacteria. I hope it goes away soon.

It has been raining all day. We've had at least 1.5 inches. That is less than predicted, but still a lot of water...and mud.

Tuesday 11/17/09

Well, I picked up a raging eye infection, most likely while moving the chicken house on Saturday. I noticed a slight pain in my right eye that evening, but didn't think anything of it. By today, it was red, very sore, and swollen. I called MDACC, and talked to a nurse, who talked to my oncologist. He sent me to the emergency center, where I had blood drawn, and got 2 prescriptions. I also have a slight cough, so I'm on Amoxicillon, and an antibiotic eye drop. This isn't what I wanted to do today, but, Oh Well...

Sunday report...

I took it kind of easy today. I did set 2 "T" posts, to put back the fence the way it had been before we moved the coop. I also unpacked 2 big boxes of clothes and stuff.

I think that the coop in it's new location will work very well. All but 4 chickens put themselves to bed, and we caught those 4, so everyone is tucked in for the night.

Busy Saturday...

Wow! was yesterday ever busy! We've been trying to figure out a better, safer spot for the chicken house. We built a nice stout "chicken tractor" , so named because it is on wheels, and in theory, you move it to a new patch of grass every day or so. The problem was, we built it too big and heavy to move easily, so it sat in one place all the time. We let the chickens out during the day to free range, and locked them up at night, for their safety, but dogs came and killed 25 or more of them, during the day, when no one was home, so that wasn't exactly safe.

We were left with a whole bunch of trees in pots over by the big metal barn when we bought the farm. Most of them had grown through the bottom of the pots, so couldn't be moved, so were just sitting there in the way...The area was set up for a potting area, and is fenced on 3 sides. The chickens love to hang out there during the day, so we decided to move the chicken tractor over there and finish fencing around it. We left a couple of the trees for shade, transplanted 2 live oaks to our front yard, and chopped out several more. There are several more to be removed, but for now...

You should have seen us moving the tractor! First, we had to chase all the birds out of it, and close the door. They were not happy about that. Then we had to push said tractor with the big blue tractor, around the back of the barn, make a U turn, and wiggle it through a side gate. Because the wheels were just bolted to the frame, turning is not easy. We used a pry bar to lift/push over, line up, push straight, stop, lift, turn, push ahead, stop. adjust, turn, measure distance debate, will it fit?, move forward or back, but we did it!!! Thanks to the help of our friends Jim and Linda, we now have the chicken coop in a safer location, more sheltered from weather, where they can have a safe yard. They will still get to free range during daylight, but with the yard, they should be able to avoid dogs, and the coyotes can't get into the yard at night.

Watching the guineas find the relocated coop was funny, too. They got so excited! They jumped on top. and guarded it from us in case we tried to steal it away again.

The coyotes seemed to prefer the ducks. We are down to 5 Muscovy, from a total of 30 babies.

Prior to moving the coop, we bought a propane weed burner, to clear the grass and weeds away from under the electric fence. If too much grass grows up, and touches the fence, it grounds, and stops working. For $60.00, we now have a magic wand of flame.Great for fire ants, too, as well as nasty weeds, or anything else you don't want growing where ever...We also finally bought the rest of the T posts, and the wire to fence the garden. Maybe I'll get to have some home grown something this year, besides the ducks set aside for Thanksgiving.

I had a dizzy spell yesterday afternoon. It was my first ever when I wasn't pregnant, or a small child, spinning in circles... I think my blood sugar was low, as it had been hours since lunch, which wasn't very much, and too high in carbs. I went inside, had a snack, lay down for a while, and was fine by dinner.

Yesterday was my first full day on twice a day steroids, instead of 3 times. I slept a little better.

Friday 11/13/09

I hate the way my medications make me feel. The steroids make me jittery, and my fingers tremble ever so slightly. I'm sleeping better with the Ambion, but I still wake several times during the night. I do get back to sleep so I guess that is OK.



Son-in-law is having a major flare-up of his MERSA, (drug resistant staph infection)

He has a PICC line in his arm, going to his heart, and has to have IV antibiotics twice a day, for at least 2 weeks. After that, he'll be on oral antibiotics for months. He is seeing a new, infectious disease specialist,, who thinks the staph is hiding in his bones. The drugs he is on is so strong, you can see a change in the sore on his face just overnight. We are hopeful that this will do the trick, but we've thought so before...

We are down to only 2 Muscovy ducks, besides the 3 set aside to be dinner. The coyotes have been brutal, and then we had another dog attack, which killed 3 of them, but didn't eat them. We still have 2 runners, mallards, and several Ruons, but the geese have both been eaten by the coyotes.

We fixed the roof on the duck house, and tomorrow, we are moving the chicken house to a more secure location and enclosing it. We just can't afford to feed the wildlife better than ourselves any longer.

Mike is going to play poker, and get drunk tonight, despite anything I say. I've decided to stop enabling him by going with him to drive us home safely afterwards. I can't drive at night, yet, and I'm susceptible to infection due to the steroids, so need to stay away from crowds, and smoke. I'm angry with him, and don't know what else to do. He claims he is cutting back on the drinking, but I saw no evidence of that last Saturday, when he came home from the poker tournament so drunk he was obnoxious.

We've met with a psychologist/nurse about how we aren't dealing with our feelings. When I mentioned his drinking, he got very defensive, and claimed he was handling it, cutting down, etc. I just wanted to smack him and cry. He just doesn't seem to understand that I need him to be here with and for me, not running off to hide in a bottle.
The gambling is worrying me too. So far he claims to be ahead, but I have to take his word for it...

On the bright side, I'm feeling good aside from the side effects, slowly getting boxes unpacked, and I'm enjoying having my little house to decorate, and keep up. After years of kids, it is nice to be able to wlk around naked if I feel like it. Not a pretty sight, but no-one to see...LOL

Wednesday 11/11/09

I've had a busy day. I've filled in holes in the path between the houses, so when we walk back and forth, at night, we won't twist an ankle. I moved the solar path lights to mark the way, and raised two of them with PVC pipe, so Mike has a parking spot where he won't run over the short lights.

I washed clothes, and dishes. I caught horses for the farrier to trim hooves, and in the process, took a nose dive into a big puddle, TWICE, with my cell phone on my hip. BOY was I angry!! I managed to rescue the phone. I took out the battery, and allowed it to dry completely.

For those worried about me over doing things, I've also sat playing spider solitary on my computer for hours, with my feet up, and reading.

I drove for the first time, to pick up my grandson from school. His dad had a Dr's appointmnet, and I was the only one available.

Back home on the farm...

I'm back home on the farm. I'm feeling good. I helped feed and put the animals up for the night.

The lost husband saga was a mis-communication between the nurse and Mike. She told him where to wait, then didn't remember to tell him when we left the Gamma Ray Knife area, and was sending people to look for him in the wrong place. He finally came back to the recovery area on his own.

I'm off chemo till 12/2/09, as they want to keep my blood counts high while I'm on the steroids, and recovering from the radiation. I'll have a repeat MRI on 12/11/09 to see what progress the radiation has had on the tumor. I'll have repeat MRIs every 90 days after that,for the next year, at least, to monitor progress...after the first repeat MRI, they will start weaning me off the steroids.

For now, I'm off the blood thinners, and there were no sign of blood clots in my arms or legs, so no filter placement. I'm looking forward to feeling good enough to get some work done here on the farm during this Chemo break.

finished...

I'm in recovery. My husband is missing. His cell is off, or has no signal. Interesting times.

The halo pin holes are seeping a bit, but everything else seems fine. They will keep me here for about another 90 minutes, and then I'll be free to go.

My actual time in the knife machine was 70 min. Lying on my back, listening to country music...not too bad. No loud noise like the MRI, just the sound of servos, and quiet humming...

MDACC ... update

It is 9:50 here in Houston TX. I'm waiting for the mapping of my brain to be done, so they can ZAP my tumor. I have a special, positioning frame bolted to my skull right now, but it isn't painful, or even uncomfortable, just awkward. It was fitted first thing this morning, using local anesthesia. I've had an MRI done, and now my team of Drs are using computers to plan my treatment.

Gamma Rays are weak, and pass through the brain tissue without doing a lot of damage, until they converge inside the tumor site. With the help of computers, they are planning the treatment for me. When they are done, I'll go into the machine for anywhere from 15-45 minutes. It is painless, like getting an ex ray. When that is done, I'll be in recovery for an hour or two. My frame/halo will be removed, and I'll be free to leave.

We will be staying in town tonight, just in case something happens, and we will return to the farm tomorrow.

Saturday 11/7...

We had another beautiful Fall day out here, on the farm. Son-in-law's friend had a birthday this week, and daughter's friends wanted help starting sewing projects for Dickens on the Strand, so we had a crowd out. Home raised duck is good! we will have more of same for our Thanksgiving meal on Saturday, after the official Thursday meal at my sisters.

We moved dining tables. I now have a table that will seat 6, with a leaf in place, instead of the plastic, umbrella, deck thing. Daughter now has the extremely heavy trestle table her dad built for us about 14 years ago. It looks good in her dinning room, but was too big for ours.

We had a huge bon-fire, burning a couple of old dining chairs that didn't match any others, an old bed, mattress, box springs, several mattress toppers, and my old green Ethan Allan sofa. There were rolls of old carpet, soggy cardboard boxes left from moving into our house, and lots of wood from downed trees, left from storms.

We had roast duck, raised here on the farm. The first of many.

Husband left early, before we moved tables or anything else. He played in a poker tournament, and won congratulations! The win was tempered by the fact that he drove home drunk, grabbed,one of the girls, hugged, her, kissed her cheek, upsetting her, and can't remember doing it. He got majorly offended over it, but, He needs to learn that when the younger crowd is here, HE isn't just one of the guys. He is the father of one of them, Big difference, but when he has been drinking, he loses his social filter, and wants to be just another big, beer drinking buddy, talking big, but he so upsets people, cause they don't know how to take it, and I'm stuck in the middle.

It frustrates me to no end that he feels he has a handle on his drinking, where all I see is having to argue with him over going to the Elks Lodge every Friday night so he can get drunk and play poker...and Tuesday is meeting night, MORE DRINKING, and always a monthly tournament, like today...open bar...

Friday 11-6-09

Busy day today. We dragged the dryer out onto the porch, took off the back, vaccumned, wiped down, put back together, and I can now wash and dry my clothes without going next door. Yeah!!!

I had an appointment with my neurosurgen at MDACC this morning, then we had another appointment, got prescription refilled, stopped for groceries on the way home. I'm tired, but not exausted, thanks to the sleep aid.

I've a good friend who is going to let Mike and I spend Sunday and Monday nights at her house about 4 miles from MDACC.


On Sunday, we will go get my IV catheter put in, then catch a movie, and dinner, as a nice break before the treatment. I need to be back at MDACC at 6:30 AM, and it is easer for us sleeping in town, than getting up at 4:30 AM...

Monday evening, they don't want me an hour away, just in case something happens, so We'll sleep in town again.

Tuesday, I get to return to the farm, and by Wednesday, I can do whatever I feel like doing.

I'm looking forward to getting on with this...

update...

I meet with the radiation oncologist today, signed permission to treat, and am set for Monday morning Gamma Ray Knife treatment for my brain tumor. EARLY Monday. I need to check in at 6:30, which means we need to leave the farm by 5:30.

I also have to go to MDACC on Sunday afternoon, to have an IV catheter put in for the procedure. That makes 5 trips to MDACC in 1 week. An hour each way...

Though this is an outpatient procedure, they don't want me going all the way back to the farm on Monday, just in case I should start to seize, or bleed, so I'll need to stay with a friend, or in a motel Monday night. After that, I can return to the farm, and resume my normal routine.

MDACC update...

Home from MDACC. Tests went well yesterday. Today, I met with one of my team oncologist, as my primary is out of town.

Due to many different prescriptions, over several years, and a new one for a sleep aid, I brought all my drugs with me, because I wanted to talk to someone about various different ones. When the Dr came in, she had two parmasicts residents with her. I got to sit down with them, go over my drugs, and make sure I'm using them correctly, and safely. Totally unplanned, but a real bonus for me.

Tests showed not much change. Those 2 tumors are still growing slowly. They didn't
give me chemo, as they want my blood levels to be stable for next week. I did get the Dopler study done. Though she wasn't supposed to say, I think the tech said there were no clots seen. What this means as far as my possible future blood clots I'll find out when I discuss the official results of the dopler study on Friday.

A good friend met Mike and I at MDACC and bought us lunch. It is good to have so many friends.

Tomorrow afternoon, we meet the radiation oncologist...

MDACC schedule

Tomorrow, Tuesday, Tests all day, including chest & abdoman CT, chest xray, blood draw, etc. I thought the neurosurgen was ordering a dopler study of my extremities, but isn't on my schedule.

Wednesday, meet with oncologist, get results of CT scans, and have Chemo therapy.

Thursday afternoon, meet the radiation oncologist. I have questions...

Friday, meet with the neurosurgen...

Saturday, no MDACC! BBQ, and sewing at the farm, followed by burning a big bon-fire.

Monday, Gamma Ray treatment, I assume, though, until I complete the rest of these appointments it isn't on the written schedule...

I'll update this as the week goes on.

I love my friends!

Friends make world go around! I've had the most awesome weekend! Thank-God for friends!

Saturday Linda and Jim came out to the farm, and helped Mike and I move furniture into the house. Most of the major stuff is moved. There may be some shelves in the barn still to move, and there are boxes and totes of stuff to be brought over, sorted, weeded through, and put away, but the major moving is done. My dryer is in the laundry room, waiting for me to switch out the plug to match the one in the wall. I picked the new one up yesterday...

Sunday, another friend, Dave came over with his power tools, a trailer with lumber, and concrete, and proceeded, with Mike's help, to build us a safe back porch! No more balancing 2 steps down, pulling the door towards yourself, sometime battling the wind, trying to carry groceries, or anything! I can walk right up and open the door! I can even set stuff down and have room to open the door. I'm truly blessed with really great friends. Thank-You, Thank-You, Thank-You!!!!

Happy Halloween!...

WOW! We got so much done today! All the large furniture is in place. The dryer is in the laundry room. We will need to change the plug on it, but that shouldn't be a problem. We even took time for some target practice before dinner...

Thank-you Linda and Jim for the help, friendship, and the chance to perforate aluminum cans in the field... LOL :-D

On a sad note, we are missing our goose. He was locked up with the flock last evening, was around earlier, but didn't show up to be fed tonight, or locked back up with the ducks.

Friday 10/30/09

Count down to Halloween wedding has the Sinched group busy doing last minute stuff. They will be gone all day tomorrow, supervising the dressing of the wedding party, ETC. I've friends coming over to help move furniture, and my dryer into the house. The weather is supposed to be clear and cool.

Sunday, another friend is coming over to see what we can do about my entryway problem. Moving furniture with the front end loader is easier than using a dolly on the inadequate steps, so it is a good thing we have "big blue."

I have a mouse in my house. I saw him this morning. He was most likely up inside the washing machine, and got a free lift. We need mouse traps.

Next week's schedule update...

It looks like I'll be at MDACC 4 days next week. I checked last night, and they have added another appointment for my neurosurgen on Friday, after seeing the radiation oncologist on Thursday...I wonder how much a hotel room would compared to a 2 hour round trip, and parking, 4 days in a row?

Waiting...

is hard to do when you aren't feeling well enough to do much. The drugs I'm on play hell with my sleeping, and I'm jittery, so finishing a task is hard. Even reading isn't easy, due to the mess inside my head. I'm trying to accept the small things I can get done, and look forward to getting more of my life back soon. If i get one box emptied, that is one less to do later. Prayers, positive energy, good wishes are always welcome...

We are expecting 1-3 inches more rain tomorrow, as well as much cooler temps. The weekend is supposed to be great, and next week looks drier. Of course, I'm slated to be at MDACC at least 3 days next week, one of those days to include chemo, so I don't expect to get everything moved yet again. I hope we can move my dryer at leaST, So I can wash my clothes without carrying them next door...

update...10/28/09

Met my neurosurgeon today. He is scheduling me for tests next Tuesday, repeat CT scans of my Chest and abdomen as well as others to try and track the source of my blood clots. This is important because as long as there is anything in my brain, I'm at risk of bleeding there from bloodthinners.
I'll meet with my medical oncologist, discuss lung tumors, and changes in Chemotherapy. I'm scheduled for gamma ray treatment on 11/9/09. This is a day "surgery". Barring any problems, I'll be home the same day, with 4 small holes around my head, under band aids, from the positioning frame. I'll be followed up with MRIs at least every 90 days for at least a year. Many advantages to this treatment include the fact it can be repeated, if necessary, can be followed up with open procedure later, if necessary, and is so noninvasive.

I had been having trouble with itching of the skin, so my steroids were reduced to 3 times a day instead of 4.

On other notes, we have caught up on rainfall here. The ponds are full, and mud is everywhere. Due to the rain, we still have furniture in our storage container, that needs moved into the house. We are dogging the sellers of our house about various issues, and hope to have all resolved soon. I'm still going to file with the BBB...


We hooked up the clothes washer, and have run it through a full cycle, but the dryer is still in the barn. I'm slowly getting boxes unpacked, and the contence put away...

Off to MDACC to meet my neurosurgen ...

More later...

brain tumor treatment...Gamma ray knife

to cut to the chase, the neurosurgeon recommends this as my best treatment option. it is a non-invasive, outpatient procedure, using many, focused gamma rays to stop tumor growth. No incision, just 4 small holes drilled into the skull for positioning of a Halo frame for precise aiming of radiation. fast recovery, good results that can be repeated if need be. the main worry at this time is the blood thinners that
I've been on for months, and finding the source of the blood clots that showed up in my lungs, making the blood thinners necessary. Without knowing that, there is no way to prevent more from forming, and any kind of blood thinners increase the chance of bleeding into the brain when a tumor is present. Why can't my life be simple?

update 10/24/09

Sorry for the lack of updates, but we needed to shut off our Internet service for a while, and then things just went to hell...

On Monday of this week, I noticed something was wrong while I was driving to the bank and grocery store. I wasn't sure what it was, just driving was difficult. Started to notice I was dropping things and running into doorways and walls. Walking up or down steps took more concentration than normal. I am due for CT scans Nov 3rd at MDACC, so called my Dr's nurse, to see if he would order a brain CT at the same time 3 days with no response, so I decided it might be a sinus infection with inner ear involvement, so called Kelsey SEYBOLD, AND MADE A WORK IN APPOINTMENT FOR WHAT I THOUGHT WAS 9:45 AM. daughter and son-in law dropped me off, as they had errands to run. Got there, found out appointment was let go for no-show cause it was for 9:30. Dr said come on anyway(thank-God) She asked what symptoms I was having, did some simple neurological tests, (think sobriety) I failed the walk toe to heel, and a couple of the closed eyes ones, so she orders a stat, in house brain CT scan. The scan showed a golf ball sized tumor in my right pariatal lobe, with milky looking fluid around it. She sent me to MDACC Emergency Center, with written notes on her,and CT findings. Now, she never mentioned the tumor, just fluid/swelling. As I was waiting in the lobby for my ride, I red the reports, so was all by myself when I found out my cancer had spread. I called my husband, who was working in Galveston, and not due home till today, to meet me at MDACC Emergency. Got there about 1:00, Again just dropped off, as they needed to be able to pick-up grandson after school, but husband was in route. Shortest wait ever at this location.After a quick evaluation, They started an IV, and ordered an MRI of my brain, cause, being digital, there is more resolution. I was checked into a treatment room in the emergency center, and calls were sent out to neurology. They started me on IV steroids to reduce the swelling, but because they didn't know what the neurosurgeon would want to do, they wouldn't let me eat. I had breakfast about 8:30 Am, and didn't get a chance to eat again till 10:30 that night. I say a picture of the MRI, and it looks like I have a golf ball embedded in the upper right side of my brain, with about a hand sized milky cloud surrounding it. it is treatable, more so than what is in my lungs. more options. To be continued. off to research the preferred treatment...

Update on new house...

Caution, Rant Alert!!! DO NOT DEAL WITH OAK CREEK HOMES! We went to their home center in Brookshire, west of Houston looking for a mobile home. They were having a Red Tag Sale, to clear out their model homes, and make room for the new models. We found a nice, 3 bedroom 2 bath double wide, signed the papers, and were assured that they could have it on our property by 9/18. Once the financing was approved, it started raining, and delayed the building of the pad for the house, so I was sure they wouldn't make the 18th. They surprised me, and made the deadline. THAT HAS BEEN THE FIRST AND LAST THING DONE IN A TIMELY FASHION. The bank released the funds once the house was on site and tied down, so now they have their money. We waited 8 days for an inspection, before they could do the "trim out", and finish work. We got word that the inspection was finished last Friday, 9/25, but could they send out their guy to work on it? NOOOO! WE HAD TO WAIT UNTIL WEDNESDAY,9/30 FOR HIM TO SHOW UP. 12 days after the house was delivered. We have no steps into the house, cause, I just found out, that the delivery guys left them, by mistake, on the lot. NOW I WOULD THINK IN 12 DAYS, THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM DOWN HERE, BUT NO, WE JUST FOUND OUT TODAY THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE SINCE 9/18. We still need the carpet stretched, and tacked down, the skirting put on, and the AC unit installed. Now, they wouldn't write the work order for the AC until the electric is hooked up. It was hooked up about 12:30 today. Do we have AC? NO! And it will be Tuesday before they can bring it out... I'm very angry, and frustrated right now. My Daughter's house is a Clayton Home. It is 900 sq ft larger than out new house, and they got everything done in 2 days, down to the final walk through, and Clayton didn't get their money until then. I'm sorry that I didn't go with Clayton Homes. BEWARE, DO NOT DEAL WITH OAK CREEK HOMES!!!

frustrating week...

This has been a very frustrating week. Our house was delivered a week ago, tied down, connected together, and it has sat there a whole week without anything else getting done. We have been waiting on an inspection that had to be completed before they could finish the trim out, and put on the skirting. We heard back today that it passed, so now we wait for the crew to come finish it. I also need to get the utilities hooked up. My septic company isn't answering their phone, though I spoke to them last week, now there is no answer. Son-in-law has friends who can do electric and water, but I need the septic company to do their part too. We climbed a ladder to walk around inside, because they haven't brought steps for us yet. As I said...

Wednesday 9/23

Reporting from MDACC...my echocardiogram was normal. No idea what is causing the tightness in my chest.

Here are some pictures of our new house. It has been in place since Friday, but we haven't gotten anything done since then. We are waiting for a required inspection before they can finish out the skirting and trim.

Monday update...

Sometime after 11:00 this morning, dogs slaughtered over 20 of our chickens. They killed most of the hens that were already laying, and quite a few of the young pullets. Grandson's favorite is among the missing, presumed dead, and he is devastated. This is a very sad day for us, and a great waste, as they had been dead for hours before we discovered them, so not even the feathers are salvageable.

Sunday evening...

...and just returned from a fun time at Ravensfort's Baronial Championships. Husband Mike won the equestrian championship. It's a good thing, as part of the prize is a pass along barding/saddle cover/quarter sheet, that is hidden somewhere in my horse trailer dressing room.

Our house was delivered on Friday. It came in hauled by 2 semi tractors, and positioned, tied down, slid together, and secured. We don't have a key yet, as they have more they need to finish before turning the keys over to us, but we are getting closer to moving in to our own home again. The utilities will be hooked up this week, I hope, and the repairs will completed, too. Nothing major wrong, just minor stuff that gets damaged when you haul a house down the road...

I'll get the electrician, plumber, and septic system guy set up to hook us up tomorrow.

Tuesday, I have more tests at MDACC, and Wednesday is a treatment day.

My grandson topped out of his reading program in the computer lab at school 3.5 weeks into his first grade year. He brought home a 3 week progress report with all As. Everyone is pleased.

It is almost time to feed the critters... I'll update here after I get the test results on Wednesday...

Tuesday, 9/8/09

We had a busy Labor Day weekend. Mike and I, with the help of our youngest son for a couple of hours on Sunday, finished the driveway fence. Now all the horses, except 2 of the older, skinnier ones, are out in the big pasture, protected from getting out the front gate by a new electric fence. We like to leave the front gate open during the day, during the school year, because we are in and out so much, and the grass in the side pasture is eaten down to the roots, so we really needed this finished. I'm so glad to have it completed. It was to the point of finish the fence, or start buying hay for the horses to eat. Buying hay when you have grass in the big pasture, but lack a fence to keep the horses off the driveway made it a simple choice.

We are in need of a home for one of our dogs. He tore loose the wire of the chicken coop, and killed several of our young pullets. A sure death sentence, unless someone without chickens, or ducks wants him. He has until Sunday, then...

I've tolerated the latest round of Chemo very well. No nausea at all, and just the usual fatigue. My lips didn't go numb, though they were slightly tingly. My next treatment is on 9/23, and the Dr has scheduled me for more tests on the day before, so 2 days at MDACC again.

I'm looking forward to attending an SCA event the weekend before that, and they are coming tomorrow to start preparing the ground for our new mobile home. Lots of stuff going on right now...

I've invited friends out for a BBQ the first weekend in October, and we should be in our house by then...

Update, medical and otherwise...

I spent the last 2 days at MD Anderson Cancer Center. Tuesday for tests, and yesterday for treatment. The CT scan of my chest and abdomen showed dramatic shrinkage of most of my tumors. All except one in my upper left lung, have shrunk by as much as 2/3!! The Dr doesn't know why that one isn't shrinking, but is satisfied with the current results, to the point that he has reduced my dosage by 1/3, to the amount I received for my first treatment. It was effective at that dose, and he wants to reduce some of the side effects, such as my lips going numb for 3 days after treatment, and the diaper rash like scalding I was getting from the caustic nature of my urine, as the drug is eliminated. The abdominal CT showed no spread to those organs, and the colitis is totally resolved. I'm very happy right now!!!

On other fronts, Mike and I spent last Saturday looking at mobile homes. I'd decided that it is a little silly to try and build my dream house, given my health status, and we really need our own home. I love my family, but after being married for 35 years, living in one small bedroom, with a spouse, is very nerve wracking. The Oak Creek Homes centers were having a big sale on their model homes. They want to get them off their lot to make room for newer models. We found a 3/2 double wide, 1400+sq ft., for $60,200. We applied for financing, and just heard back today that we were approved. YEAH!!! We still want the RV from my brother, as this will act as a guest house, and is, after all, a travel trailer, so if Mike and I want to travel/camp, sans horses, we can take it and go.

I'm planning on picking up the gates I need to finish the driveway fencing tomorrow so that we can complete that project this weekend, as the horses have eaten all the grass in the side pastures, to the point that we will have to supplement with hay, or finish the fence, and move them to bigger pastures. We have some more mowing to do, but that can be dome a little at a time, with the horses in the pasture. After the fencing along the driveway is done, I can work on my arena. Yeah!!! I love when plans come together!

We are still getting between 6-9 eggs each day from our hens. The ducks need more fattening before we butcher the extra drakes for freezing, so I'm picking up some whole kernel, dry, corn from the feed store, to finish them up. It is too low in protein for the chickens, but should do the trick for these guys, who aren't laying eggs. Sorry if eating your own animals offends anyone, but what else can you do with 20+ male ducks?

MDACC today, and tomorrow...

I'm spending part of today and tomorrow at MDACC. Today is for tests, to check on my cancer's response to my chemo, and tomorrow is for treatment.

It's been busy here at the farm, We have the yard, 3 acres><, almost totally fenced. We bought 2 gates at tractor supply for the driveway fence, but bought 10' instead of 12' so we are using them other places, and need to return to TS for the right size gates, and a second fence charger. Then I need to put up about 50 more insulators, string the electric tape, and the horses can be out in the big pasture all the time.

I need to finish my arena too. All the posts are up, but nothing is between them, except where it goes along with the yard fence. Once that is up, I can disc it good, incorporating the load of sand I've already purchased, and we will be ready to rock & roll. I'll need more sand in there, but it will have to wait until I start getting my checks.

We bought more T posts for fencing off the garden. Everything planted gets eaten as soon as it sprouts. We have too many varmints!!!

Thursday 8/27/09

It has been a busy week here at Little Moon Farm. The young hens are giving us between 6-9 eggs a day, as long as we collect them several times during the day, so they don't eat them. The babies will start laying in about 6 weeks, and then we should get 45+ eggs a day. We have yet to see a duck egg, though they should be ready to lay, too.

Husband Mike mowed the front pasture and I've been working on the fence around the arena, as well as along the driveway. All the posts are set for the arena, and reset and insulators placed on most of the driveway fence posts. We need another solar charger, 2 gates, and 2 more ground rods before we can finish the driveway fence, but it needs to be done so that the horses don't run out of grass in the side pastures.

Today I mowed the back/side pasture, the side yard, and more of the pasture outside the yard fence. Driving the tractor is easier than fence work. I need to encourage Mike to switch with me, him on fence, ME on tractor.;-D

School is back in session. Grandson is in first grade this year, and so far, he loves it.

I'm feeling good, and keeping busy, but working in short bursts, with rests in between. My next treatment is on Wednesday, but I will be going in for tests on Tuesday, including a CT and a chest x-ray, to check the status of my tumors. I feel good, though I should have worn one of my masks today while mowing, as it kicks up lots of dust, and I'm coughing tonight.

It's been a week...

...since I've written anything here. I guess anyone reading this would like an update.

Wednesday last was a treatment day. We arrived around 7:45, I had my blood drawn, and we retired to the hospitality room for some quiet reading time, since there was a 1 1/2 hour wait till I needed to report for my Exam before treatment. We reported on time, the dr thought everything looked good, but he didn't have the final blood results, just the preliminary... went up to the infusion center, at 11:10, planning on requesting an earlier slot if possible. They didn't open till 11:30. Wrote my request on my slip, since I wasn't scheduled till 1:00, I was hoping to get through early. Haaa! She said she would see what she could do, but didn't promise anything. We didn't go and eat first, since they provide lunch from 12:00-2:00 for patients, and we wouldn't have to pay for mine that way...They didn't call me in till 1:45...I sent Mike to get himself some lunch, and told him to bring it back up and eat with me. They didn't come for my lunch order till after 2:00, and I was afraid I wouldn't get any...

THEN they came in and told me that one of my blood test results was a little low, and they needed to call my DR, for his OK to treat me...GREAT!!! They went ahead and started my pre-treatment Meds... The diphenhydramine always gives me restless leg syndrome, I cannot hold my legs still, it is like ants are crawling around under my skin...that, with a good dose of steroids, helps prevent nausea, and other nasty side effects.
They finally got the OK to treat me, so the real stuff was started at 3:30...

I seem to tolerate the stuff pretty well, except that it makes my urine so caustic for the next 2 days, that I'm scalded, like I have a bad diaper rash. It takes days to clear it up, no matter how I treat it.

Thursday and Friday I stayed pretty much in my room, just walking out to check on the eggs, but not much else, trying to conserve energy. Felt well enough to go to the Elks Lodge Friday evening, to eat, and play cards. We got home about 11:30. Saturday, I sat around again, except I helped feed the stock in the evening. Sunday, we had an SCA practice scheduled, so I stayed indoors till it was time, to save my strength for saddling horses, ETC. We had a really good turn out for practice, and
finished one authorization, as well as re-authorizing a rider who hadn't played in about 6 years.

Monday is always feed store day. Picked up feed for all the animals...didn't unload it this time, but waited for hubby to get home. His hernias are healed, and it was trying to rain...

Today, we checked for eggs early, but there weren't any. I put all the trash into the bed of my truck, to drop off by the front gate, and had a nice shower, then headed out for my weekly massage. That, and a trip to Wal-mart, pretty much covers the week. I'm going to bake blueberry scones for tomorrow's breakfast. Wal-Mart had berries for $1.98 a pint, YUM! When I returned to the farm, grandson and I checked for eggs again, and this time we found 6, which he proudly placed into his new egg basket, and carried to the house. I found a nice, vinyl covered, wire basket at the Dollar Tree store, just big enough to carry a dozen eggs max, and perfect for 6 year old hands to carry. He had an accident last week trying to carry 6 eggs in his Tee shirt. Only 1 made it to the kitchen. He was very proud of his new basket, and placed it near the front door for next time...

Tuesday...

Had a massage this morning, and met 2 friends for lunch. Very nice. This evening, after helping feed the stock, I'm going to bake blueberry scones for tomorrow's breakfast. We are having a meteor shower viewing party tonight.

Tomorrow, is treatment day for me. We will be at MDACC before 8:00AM, and will be home when we get through, whenever that is.

We sat outside tonight to see meteors, but I only saw a few. I need to sleep for tomorrow will be a busy day.

Monday update...

Well, we didn't get much done on the arena fence over the weekend. The tractor had a flat tire, and the auger bit's replaceable teeth were worn down too far to dig in. I tried to buy replacements, but the store I went to didn't have the right ones. We ended up working on killing scrub bushes, called rattle box, or chinese whisteria, that is all over our pastures, and yard. The stuff is hard to kill, and it is toxic to eat any part of it. Luckly we have enough grass that the animals don't try to eat it.

Today, I went to the feed store, the tractor store where I bought the auger bit, to get the correct replacement teeth, a tire repair shop, where they patched the tube in the tractor tire, and to the grocery store.

I went to the feed store first, cause the other stops were on a circle route from there, and I wouldn't have to cross my path, or double back to get home. It was raining this morning, and drizzled off and on all day, (except at the farm), so I asked the people at the feed store to cover the feed in the bed of my truck, since I had several stops before I went home. The tractor tire was back there too. I told the guy who loads the feed that he could set the wheel up on end and pile the feed beside it, to make room. He got a big black plastic bag, and put the feed in it, but it didn't cover the top, so he got a second bag, covered the feed, and tucked it all in nice and neat. I was sitting in the truck, watching through the back window. It looked OK from where I was sitting, but we hadn't gone more than a couple of miles before the top bag blew off, and it started to drizzle. I pulled into a service station, and tried to cover the feed. That was when I discovered that he had piled the feed on top of the tire and wheel. I went on to my next stop, the tractor dealer, to get the teeth for the auger, and asked them if they fixed tires. They didn't but gave me directions to a place that did. Before I left there, I re-stacked the feed, covered it up as best I could, and went on my way. Next stop, the tire store, where I found out that I didn't need a valve stem, but I needed an inner tube patched, which they did. I tried to cover the feed again, but the stack had slid over, so I couldn't cover it all up, but I did the best I could.

Last stop, HEB, where grandson was waiting to cash in his 39 buddy bucks, in their machine, but the machine was out of order. Oh well, it was that kind of day. We got our groceries, and drove home, where I unloaded the feed, then the groceries, and sat in the AC, cooling off, until husband Mike got home. We put the tire and wheel back in the tractor, the teeth on the auger, and dug some holes. I'm tired!!!

Plans for Saturday...

We are planning on working on the arena fence today...

Monday 8/3/09...

We had a very busy weekend. Saturday, as I was getting up and around, I got a call from a friend, who was going thru town, on her way home to Rockdale, and wanted to meet for lunch. Meanwhile, my oldest son arrived to help build fence. I left my husband and son with the fence building, and I went to lunch. I got home as they were finishing up, and getting ready to cool off and relax. I helped feed the stock, and we moved the chicks, and guineas, to the bigger chicken coop. They were getting crowded in the small cage. After everyone was fed, I cooked hot dogs for everyone, and the men built a bon-fire, using lots of empty feed sacks, and some scrap wood. We sat around the fire catching up with our son's activities, and watching the moon rise, till about 10:00.


Sunday, we took care of the animals in the morning, planted grandson's bean plants, that he started indoors on the kitchen window sill, and collected some eggs, then retired to the AC for most of the day, till about 5:30, then went out and worked on the fence some more. We are building an arena for lessons and jousting, where we don't have to worry about loose horses tagging along while we are riding.
When it was time, I went and fed the stock, after locking up the ducks and geese.

Today, grandson helped feed the skinny old horses, collected eggs,turned out the ducks, and watered his beans. Today, we got a total of 6 eggs, and at least one of our older hens was out of the coop, so I'm sure the dogs got her egg. Our pullets are coming into production now, and we will soon get enough everyday, not to have to buy any. That will be great!


I received a gift from my sister-in-law today. It is a necklace. A silver oval, with an inspirational saying on it.: What Cancer Cannot Do...it cannot...invade the soul...suppress memories...kill friendships...destroy peace...conquer the spirit...shatter hope...cripple love...corrode faith...steal eternal life...silence courage...

I wrote her an email to thank-her, and tell her that I need to be reminded of those truths, and that this would help.

Friday 7/31/2009

July is over, but the heat goes on. I've spent the last few days figuring out how to take the timed release pain med at night, so that I don't drag around most of the next day, feeling like a zombie. If I take it right after dinner, it has worn off by the time I get up the next morning, but if I wait till I'm getting ready for bed, the whole next day, I have no energy to speak of.

There has been no return of the pain I had on Saturday, in spite of unloading 500 lbs of feed on Monday. My stomach has pretty much settled down, though it was pretty queasy the last few days. A hold over from the chemo.

I'm going to Tractor Supply later, to get new cutting blades for the auger bit. I want to work on the fence this weekend, and we need it to dig post holes.

The guineas are getting big fast! Though the chicks are the same age, they are much smaller than the Guineas. We have been keeping the chickens in their cage, to retrain them to lay their eggs in the nest boxes, on the shelves, where hungry dogs won't eat them, We are up to 4 a day, most days, as the young pullets begin producing. I believe we may have as many as 4 roosters in the bunch. There are several of the youngsters, whose combs and wattles are bigger, and they look like they may be getting spurs on the inside of their legs. We will weed them out to the freezer when we are sure, as we don't need more than 1 or 2 for the 60 or so hens we hope to have in production soon.



The donkey remains cute and sweet natured. He has healed up nicely from his surgery, and likes to chase the dogs, which is our main reason for getting him. He and Indy remain best friends. We have wormed him, at a slightly lower dose, as this was the first time he has been treated. We will re-do it at full strength soon, to make sure he is getting all the good from his food. He also got his first vaccination. He will get a booster soon, and then he'll be all caught up on everything. Look at those ears! Aren't they the cutest!!!?

Monday...

Where did the time go. Thursday and Friday weren't as bad as I expected, and we went to the Elk's Lodge Friday night. We got home around midnight, I gave myself my shot, and we went to sleep. I woke up Saturday morning with the same pain in my shoulder that I had several weeks ago, when they found blood clots in my lungs. I called the MDACC ER to ask what to do. No One would tell me. I asked to speak to the Dr on call. they said he would call me back. After waiting 2 hours for a return phone call, we headed an hours drive into town, to the MDACC ER. We arrived right before 1:00 in the afternoon. I took some of my pain medication before we left, so that I could stand the trip. They took my vitals soon after I arrived, and moved me to a room in the ER, but it was several hours before they ran any sort of test, drew blood, or took an X-Ray. When they got the test results, everything looked good, they said I had an inflammation, here are some antibiotics, just in case, and take more pain meds at night, so you don't wake in pain. Why they couldn't/wouldn't tell me this on the phone, I don't know. We left, and stopped to get the prescription filled. I stayed in the car, as I was tired, and being 3 days after Chemo, my blood counts were most likely dropping, and that puts me at risk of infection. When Mike got into the car with the med, he said, that it might make me photo-sensitive. My ears perked right up at that, and I started reading the information on the bag. It was a form of Ciproflaxascion, in the same family, and with the same sort of side effects. I made Mike turn around, and go back, we returned it, got our money back, and called the Dr to see if there was something else I could take instead. He said, since I wasn't running fever, I would be OK without taking anything. I was a bit pissed at that.

Sunday, we let the critters out, and fed the old mare. Mike did some work outside, while I cleaned the kitchen, took a rest, then baked banana scones for Monday's breakfast. At 5:00 we had a practice scheduled, for SCA. 1 rider showed up, so I saddled up Indy and Birdie, and we had a nice little practice. This was the first time Birdie has been ridden since he cut his leg back in May. He is healed enough that he needs to stretch the tendon that was injured, so that the scar tissue won't shrink anymore. He did fine. After practice, we fed the animals, and put the chickens and ducks up for the night.

Today, I locked up the dogs, fed the chicks, let the flocks out, and fed the old mare. After resting in my room for several hours, I drove to the library, checked out some books, and picked up 500# of assorted animal feed at the feed store. It started to rain as soon as I headed towards home. By the time I made it to the farm it had stopped. Actually, it was still raining where I had been, but we never got any of it. I unloaded, and poured up the feed. I couldn't leave it in the bags, as they were damp from the rain. I returned to the house for the afternoon, and rested till 7:00, when we went out to lock up the fowl, and feed the animals. We were back inside by 8:00. I'm tired, and heading to bed now.

treatment update...

Blood work was good. Dr said I was doing well. I asked him how long I would continue on this treatment/schedule. He said we would go on like we have,( chemo with Ixapepilone {Ixempra tm} every 3 weeks), with a CT scan next time to check response to treatment, and every so often to monitor progress, until my tumors stop responding, and start to grow, or I have side effects that are too severe to continue. If/when this happens, we would go to something else.

I had my treatment as scheduled, and don't feel too bad tonight. I'm still on a steroid high. Tomorrow, I won't be worth much, if this is like the last time.

Wednesday 7/22/09

I'm having my third treatment today. The second at full strength.

Yesterday was busy. I took the trash out to the street, hammered some dents out of the drum of an old dryer, and the washtub of an old washer, to use as planters for potatoes, did dishes, and after a shower, picked up a prescription, then had a massage. When I got home, I finished loading the lunch dishes, and ran them. When it was time, I helped feed the critters, cause I know I won't be able to do anything much the next 3 days. After dinner, I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, and baked cinnimon raisin scones for breakfast. YUM! I'm off to get poisoned.

catching up...

I picked up the animals on Tuesday after their surgery. We kept the kitty inside the laundry room for 24 hours, then let him return to his life in the barn. The donkey didn't want to get out of the trailer when we got home, so I took his halter off, and left him in there with the door propped open so he could get out on his own. Indy came over to check on his buddy. When we came out to feed later, he was out of the trailer, eating grass.

Wednesday, I woke up early, and got outside to get some work done before it got too hot. I cleaned out the chicken coop, fed the old horse, and stretched some cord to mark the fence line for my arena. I marked 2/3 of the post hole spots, before I went inside to cool off.

Thursday I had a Dr. appointment at MDACC at 2:00. I got started early, went to the library, the bank, then headed to the med center. After my check-up, I stopped in for a massage, picked up a prescription, and went to the grocery store for stuff to make scones.

Friday, my boarders came out, bringing feed, and working with their horses. They were going to ride, but it started to rain. It rained just long enough for them to get soaking wet, then when they gave up and let the horses go, it stopped. I was leading my grandson on his pony in the rain too. I was too lazy to get his saddle, so I just put him on bareback, and walked him around.

I had a nice visit from a good friend from the SCA. She brought me a beautiful plant, and we had a nice visit, catching up on things. I hadn't seen her since February. WHile she was here, I baked some blueberry scones for breakfast, and while I was in the middle of mixing them, I got a phone call from my friend Lois, in Maryland. I was so busy talking, I put the cream into the dough before I put in the butter. I was sure they were going to be tough, but they turned out just fine.

Later, we took our grandson to the lodge with us, as his mom and dad had a photo shoot to go to for their business. Grandson and I swam for 30 minutes, got dressed and ate a catfish dinner, then played on the playground. Grandson also played pool, as well as anything else he could find to have fun with. It was a very long, busy day. Grandpa played poker, while I played a game called 31. I only played 1 game, cause I was busy with my grandson, but I won. This was the only time I've won at that game.

Today, we had scones for breakfast, then I went to the feed store, and to Wal-mart. I had bought the wrong kind of chlorine for the pool we have and needed to exchange it for the correct kind. I helped pour the feed into the barrels in the feed room, and brought a bag of feed over to the house for the baby checks. They are growing fast, and eating more each day. I started some laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, and helped grandpa feed all the animals this evening, as daughter, and son-in-law had another engagement to attend, for their business. When we got back into the house, grandpa, who worked outside most of the day, took a shower, while I cooked hot dogs for dinner. After dinner, it was bed time for grandson, and into the shower for me. It has been a very busy week.

The horse shoer is coming out on Monday to trim all the horses, Tuesday I have another massage scheduled for 1:00 in the afternoon, and Wednesday, I have my next chemo treatment. As you can tell, I'm feeling fine right now. I know I won't be so chipper after my treatment, so I'm trying to get as much done as I can while I have the energy.

Busy Tuesday...

...already, and it's only 11:00 AM. After I got up, fixed breakfast, and finished loading the dishwasher, I took the donkey, Jesse, and a stray tom cat to the vet's to have them both castrated, and get their rabies shots. Then I picked up a bag of feed for my boarders, who were out of town this past weekend, so couldn't bring more feed for their horses. I also picked up another float valve for the water trough in the big pasture, cause husband Mike told me the other one was broken. When I went out to put the new one on, I discovered that the old one wasn't broken, but the hose had come loose. I put the new one, with it's metal housing on the trough in the pasture, and put the other one on a small tub by the well-house for the horses in the pond enclosure. I also moved the new bag of feed, and 2 feed barrels from my trailer into the feed room, so Mr. Indy couldn't get into them. I used the big blue tractor to move all this in one trip. Much easier than several trips with a wheel barrow. Like I said, a busy morning... I'll be picking up the critters this afternoon...

Sunday evening...continued

I felt good enough to help feed the animals this evening. After dinner, I baked blueberry scones for tomorrow's breakfast. Yumm!!!

Sunday afternoon...

We have a new 4 legged friend here at Little Moon Farm. Last week we were contacted by a local man who had a young donkey for sale. We went to see him, and he is very cute, not quite a year old, not halter broken, no shots, or worming, not castrated, and no coggins test. He is very friendly. We took him the day it rained, to be tested for EIA, (the coggins test). He was negative, so we picked him up today, and brought him home. I'll be calling the vet tomorrow, to see about getting him castrated, and a rabies shot. We will worm him, give him his other vaccinations, and train him to walk/lead with a halter. Michelle started that today, and he is such a people lover, I don't think we will have much trouble teaching him that. Indy loves him. We put Indy in with him, and Indy is following him around, and keeping him away from the other horses. Really cute.

Don't look now...

...but it's raining! Shhhh! Don't say it out loud, or you might scare it away!;-P

Monday night...

My husband managed to get very drunk on the beer left from the Independence Day festivities. I didn't realize it till he came over to check on me hitching up the trailer. I get so angry when he does this, cause he just "goes away", and you can't tell him anything, or expect him to make any sense, if you try to talk to him. I need him to be here for me, but he's too busy feeling sorry for himself, at the bottom of a bottle, to be any help or support for me right now, and that really hurts. I can't seem to talk to him about it, he just shuts me out, so I'm going to write about it here, cause he sometimes reads this.
I asked him if he was going to get drunk every night until the beer was gone. At first I think he didn't believe what I had said. When I repeated the question, he said NO!, but that remains to be seen. At least he is home, and not driving 30 miles in the dark, drunk.

Monday...

I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th of July. We had quite a crowd here at the farm. Lots of good food, water play, and, after dark, a bonfire and fireworks. We watered the front yard for 10 days to make sure we were safe for fires, as we are under a burn ban. No one came to shut us down, and we kept the fire contained, so it was good.

Sunday was a day of rest. Everyone rested. The only time we stirred was when we went to look at a donkey for our pasture, and if his coggins is negative, he will be coming to live on the farm as soon as he is gelded. He needs to be wormed, and vaccinated too, but the main thing is the coggins test, for EIA. He is about 8-9 months old, and almost as big as his mom, with a real sweet personality. He will just be a guard donkey until he is old enough to be ridden, and we may break him to drive as well. Donkeys are good at keeping dogs and coyotes away from your livestock, and this one chased his owner's dog as soon as he saw her for the first time, so I think he will keep Bloo from killing any more ducks.

Chemo was really rough this time, but in reading the Dr's notes, I've figured out why it was worse. He gave me a reduced dose the first time, due to my having colitis, and I got a full dose this time, which slammed me hard. The good thing about this is, in spite of the first round being reduced in strength, my tumors are already shrinking! I'm very happy about that! I'm feeling better each day, but have to be careful because my blood counts are most likely going down, and I need to reserve my strength, and protect my immune system.

Happy Birthday USA...

Happy July 4th. I feel like I want to live for the first time since I had my Chemo on Wednesday. The last 48 hours or so have been rough! I didn't want to eat, nothing tasted right, and my stomach hurt. I never actually felt like vomiting, but I was feeling bad all the time. I woke up this morning feeling hungry, ate breakfast, and still felt good. I just spent an hour or so outside, watching my grandson play in his wading pool, and watering the flocks of ducks, and chickens.

We received our order of chicks on Thursday. 50 hens and 3 rooster chicks in a mix of breeds that lay colored eggs, instead of white. We now have 10 ginny chicks, too. I know I spelled that wrong, but I just can't seem to remember how that word is spelled, and spell check is stumped, too. One of the co-op members was in a feedstore where they had the babies, and he got them for $2.00 a piece. They are often $10.00 apiece, so this was a great deal!

update on Wednesday...

We got to MDACC right on time and I got my blood drawn in a timely fashion. Mike and Andy went on to St Luke's and got him checked in. He was scheduled for 10:30, but they were backed up in the recovery room, so they didn't come for him until 2:00 in the afternoon! He was allowed nothing by mouth since midnight the night before, so was a bit cranky, as you can imagine.
I went to the patient advocates office, and filed a complaint about the long day in the ER on Saturday. I praised the people working there, as they were fantastic, but there weren't enough of them to get things done in a timely fashion. What should have taken no longer than 3 hours, took 12. Most of that was sitting and waiting.

My Dr's appointment went well. He confirmed what I had suspected, the tumors are already shrinking, according to the CT scan done on Saturday, as compared to the one done on May 22. He was pleased, and seemed a little surprised, as he hadn't planned on repeating the ct scan until my next chemo. I was scheduled for chemo at 2:00, but they were backed up and I didn't get taken back till nearly 3:00, so I wasn't finished until 7:15, or so. The pre-treatment meds include diphenhydramine, which makes me very sleepy, so I drowsed through my treatment.

Busy day tomorrow...

I'm scheduled for my second chemo tomorrow, and my husband Mike will have his hernias repaired. He will be in St Luke's Episcopal Hospital, right across the street from MDACC where I'll be. Our youngest son is on his way out to the farm, to sleep on the couch, and take us in to town tomorrow. I have a friend bringing us home after, though I think I would have been OK to drive home, no-one would let me, and Mike can't drive after being sedated.

I had a great time today meeting for lunch with a bunch of friends from Braeburn Presbyterian Church and Day School. We caught up on what our kids, and grandkids are up to, and how we are all doing. They are a great support group for me, as several of them are cancer survivors, and also been close friends with other women going through what I'm facing. A couple of them brought gifts for me, and we also had a summer reading book swap. A great way to spent the afternoon.

Busy Sunday...

In spite of spending yesterday in the ER, today was productive. I walked out with Michelle to let the flocks out, and feed the old horse. We sat by the pond for 10 minutes or so, just watching the duck's antics. We went back to the house, ate breakfast, then I had my daughter shave my head, as my hair was falling out, and I don't like waking up with hair in my face that is no longer attached. Mike and I hung the new ceiling fan in our room. Yeah! no more stuffy nights, suffering with hot flashes, without a fan!
I took it easy for the rest of the afternoon.

We had an SCA equestrian practice this evening. We started around 5:00, so it was starting to cool off. I helped saddle up the horses, then had another marshal running the practice, as she needed to do, to get her Authorization to be an authorizing marshal. I did spend quite a lot of time walking back and forth from the barn to the house, printing out different waivers, and other paperwork, cause I didn't have enough copies of certain ones I needed. When they left, I went back into the AC, and waited for supper.

I'm feeling pretty good, but needed to take small amounts of pain medication during the day, to keep the pain of the blood clots at bay. I'm back to daily blood thinners, but the one I'm on isn't quite as painful as the other one. I hope it is effective, and I don't have to switch.

Friday...

...was a good day. Son-in-law drove me around to do some errands. We picked up parts for the Bush Hog, then went to look for just the right ceiling fan for our bedroom. When Lowe's didn't have the right one, we went to Home Depot. We bought the fan, and a new filter for the refrigerator, then I made a quick run into Office Max for folders, and sheet protectors for organizing my files for the farm. When we got home, It was time for Kenney to pick up the daughter of one of his friends from Summer school, so while he did that, I unloaded, and reloaded the dishwasher, fixed a sandwich for lunch, then tackled the files. After getting them pretty well done, it was time for Mike to get home, and we went to the Elks Lodge for dinner, a movie and cards. We didn't get home till after midnight, but I was doing alright. In spite of a very busy day, I was no tireder that normal.

That changed very quickly this morning. I woke up at about 8:30 with excruciating pain in my right shoulder, just like Wednesday morning. This time, I called the after hours triage nurse. She told me to go to the emergency room at MDACC. In the car I took a 7.5 mg dose of Oxicodone for the pain, as the vibrations and movement were making the pain worse. We arrived about 10:20 AM, and I sat in the waiting room for at least an hour before they took me to a room. They checked my vitals after about 30 min. but sent me back to wait...
By this time the med had kicked in and I wasn't grunting with each breath, from the pain. They did an EKG, and put in an IV line, but couldn't get blood out of it, so they stuck me again, on the back of my hand, and went through the vein. An IV specialist was called, and meanwhile I was walked across the ER to have a chest X-ray done. There was talk of having a CT scan of my chest to see what was going on, and by this time it was 12:30. I hadn't eaten anything since dinner last night, the pain was manageable, and I was hungry. They let me order a lunch tray, but I couldn't have it till after my CT scan. They would put it in the refrigerator for me.

The IV nurse came, stuck me again, and drew the blood they needed for testing. Several hours later, a Doctor came in, and told me the the first tests were normal, so he was ordering a CT scan. They were looking for blood clots. I still couldn't have anything by mouth. 6:00PM they finally came to take me for the CT scan. It was hurry up and wait. The test took 10 min, but I was out of my room for an hour. When they brought me back, I was finally allowed to eat my lunch. It was after 7:00 in the evening. About 8:30 or so the Dr showed back up, to tell me they found blood clots. When I asked where, he said on both sides. He didn't say weither they were in my lungs, but I'm assuming so, though the pain is centered in the top of my right shoulder, it hurts to take a deep breath. He has put me back on daily blood thinner shots. I wanted to ask some questions, but he was gone again.

Soooo, my life right now sucks big time. I HATE giving myself shots in my stomach They burn like acid for about 5-10 minutes after you get it, and leave bruses. Please continue praying for me. I need them more than ever. Friday was such a good day...

today...

...was spent in a daze. I'll stay away from the muscle relaxers after this. If I wake in pain, I'll just take more of the pain med I'm taking at night. At least with that, it wears off, and I can function. I hate losing a day to nothingness. There is so much to do here, and I can't do much right now, but wasting a whole day like this bothers me.

Farah Fawcett died today from cancer. I watched a tribute to her life. It was sad and hard to watch, but I feel I needed to. She had Ryan O'Neil at her side to the end. She was very lucky to have that kind of love and commitment from a life partner, even though they never married. HE had asked her many times before, and she refused. During her last days, she finally agreed, but she died before they could do it.

Michael Jackson also died today. What a sad, wasted, life he had. He named his youngest child Blanket. What will those children have to look forward, to as they grow up.

woah!

I woke up at 5:15 with a sharp pain in my shoulder so bad that I couldn't go back to sleep. I checked Webmd.com to see if this was a common symptom of anything, and when that drew a blank, I took 1/2 of a muscle relaxer. I woke up at 9:30, ate a snack, and drank some Ice tea, sat back down on my bed intending to read, and just woke up again when my cell phone rang. I'm very groggy, but the pain is pretty much gone. I still feel a twinge now and then, but not like it was. So much for getting anything much done outside this morning...it's too hot by now.

home...

He made it home, smelling like a distillery, but home safe once more, thank God.

I'm feeling very depressed tonight...

Today I received an email that 4 weeks ago would have made me very happy. I went on an initial job interview on May 27 at a private school looking for teachers for next year. It went well, and they said they would be in touch about a follow-up interview. That is the day I started running fever, and the next day was when I was told that I needed more tests at MDACC. That weekend is the first I spent in the hospital, and was told my cancer was back. I got the invitation to a follow up interview today. I want to cry, scream, and tear my hair out. Why now, when I can't in good conscience interview for a job when I most likely will not be able work due to Chemo and other treatments. I'm in the process of applying for Disability from Social Security. I had given up my dream of teaching, then this job came up, tailor made for me, and now I can't do it.

On top of that, my dog broke her front leg chasing the neighbors bull, and my husband is driving home from Elks Lodge meeting, and he is drunk. It scares me every time he does this, and I try and tell him so, but it doesn't seem to matter to him that he is endangering himself and others every time he does this.

So here I sit, worrying about if this will be the night he doesn't make it home, but ends up in a ditch, and how I can tell these people who finally seem to value me as a teacher, that I can't take their job.

My physical condition seems to be good, and I'm receiving lots of cards from people wishing me well, but tonight I'm very sad, and frustrated with this whole thing...

WOW! My first weekend at home...

...in over 3 weeks! I'm doing as fine as can be expected. I tire easily, but have more energy than when I was on the heavy pain meds.

We celebrated Father's Day quietly, except for a lunch out at a local Mexican restaurant. We waited for the after church crowd to thin out, so I didn't have to worry about catching anything, and enjoyed a pleasant meal.

I didn't take any pain med before sleep last night, so spent a restless night. I hadn't realized that, in addition to regulating my pain, the med was helping with my dry cough, that seems to be worse at night, when I lay down to sleep. Coughing kept waking me up. I'll take it every night, for now.

This morning, I went out and hooked up a float valve to a second water trough for the horses. We had had the valve, but never connected it, and my new boarders had a trough that they used for one of their horses, but no automatic shut off valve. Now the horses have a choice weather they drink from the pond, or the trough.

Saturday evening...

It has been a busy couple of days. Yesterday,(Friday), we went shopping for Father's Day stuff. We went to Tractor Supply, Wal-Mart, Walgreens, and CVS pharmacy. All this before 2:00PM. After lunch, I took it easy till Mike got home, then we went to the Elks Lodge for dinner, and played cards for a couple of hours. I wore a mask when I wasn't eating, to avoid catching anything. We came home about 9:00, cause I was tired.

I've found that in order to get a good night sleep, I need to take the fast acting pain med. I don't mind that, because it wears off before I wake in the morning, and doesn't leave me dragging around all day

Today, I spent some time outside this morning visiting with my boarders, here to ride their horses. When they went home, I worked for several hours on my SS disability application, then took a nap after lunch. This evening, I saddled up Indy and rode for about an hour with my Daughter, and grandson. That felt good. I haven't been on a horse for far too long. I treated all 8 of our herd for flys while daughter fed. I helped turn them out after, and rounded up the water fowl for the night. I finished up in the wading pool with my grandson, cooling off. Went from there, through the back door, into the bathroom for a shower, and here I am at 8:00 in the evening, ready for dinner, and very tired, but not exausted.

Thursday...

Well, I'm still home. I've stopped the pain meds for now, without having any problems with the lung pain I was experiencing before. I took off the gauze bandage from my port placement, and replaced it with just tegaderm, no gauze. I took a shower. Boy, did that feel good! Washing my hair was a real treat! This evening, I walked out with daughter, and grandson to feed the animals, and put the ducks to bed. I videoed the ducks, and they are very entertaining. When I returned to the house, I was sweating, so I pulled the tegadrem off one of the incisions from my port placement, and all the steri-strips pulled off too...OPPS!Now I know why they put gauze under it, even though it wasn't bleeding...I'll leave the other one in place for a few more days.

Still here...

I'm still here. I'm looking forward to feeling better. Right now, I'm very tired, whether from pain meds, or just run down from Chemo. I walked around the pond this morning, stopping to watch the ducks for about 15 minutes, then walking back to the house. I want to extend the distance gradually.

I can't bath, or get my dressing wet over my port till Thursday,(72hours), but after then, I'm looking forward to scrubbing my hide, and washing my hair. It's the little things in life...

Home from the hospital...again...

Well, I'm home from the hospital again. This time, with a port-a-cath implanted in my chest so that I'm ready for any kind of Chemo they want to throw my way.

Friday, around 5:00PM my temp spiked to 101.2, so we headed to the emergency room. They admitted me, drew enough blood to satisfy a vampire, and started me on broad spectrum antibiotics. The blood work was normal, but they wanted to give the cultures 48 hours to grow, if anything was there. Nada. All clear. While I was in, they decided to put in a port a cath, so I would be ready for anything. They checked my blood counts, and my white counts started to tank while I was there, so they kept me sort of isolated from other patients, and I wore mask if I left my room.

Good news! I had to lay flat on my back during the port placement today, and I was able to do that without distress! I had had my Oxycontin about 2 hours prior to the procedure, but laying on my back, or taking deep breaths didn't cause coughing, pain, or any other distress. I hope and pray that this is because the chemo has caused the tumors to begin to shrink, and they aren't pulling on the pleura as they had been. Yeah!!!

...In the hospital again...

Well, I'm spending my third weekend in a row in the hospital. On Friday, I started running a low-grade fever. Just a degree, but enough to make me feel achy and draggy. Mike likes to play cards on Friday evenings, and I wanted to go with him. On our way into town, I realized my temp was rising. I'd brought my thermometer, so I could monitor my fever. It was 101.2. We detoured to the emergency room, and I'll be here till Monday. They are culturing everything they can think of to culture, and giving me broad spectrum antibiotics, to try and control whatever may be there.

Saddle up that nightmare and ride...

A friend sent me a message of support and encouragement where she described what I'm going through as a nightmare. Being the horse person that I am, I replied that I was going to saddle her up and give her a real long hard ride. Another horse friend chimed in and said to not let her buck me off, but that my friends would be there to catch me if she did. I love the analogy, so you will see more of me talking about my nightmare.

I have lots of energy today. I know it is the steroids they gave me before my chemo, and that it will last through the weekend, but not much more than that. My arm is bruised from the nurses having to stick me 3 times to get a good vein. OUCH!!! I've been emailing my oncologist's nurse, begging her to plead with him to get me scheduled for a port before my next chemo, on July 1.

I spent much of the morning and early afternoon on the computer, then went outside, walked over to the barn, fed the skinny old mare, and while she was eating, I fed the chickens. By this time the ducks and geese had figured out I was there, so they headed over to be fed. I walked back to their house, with them following, waited till most of them were in the water, then walked around the first pond. It was fun watching them watching me. Every time I stopped. they would head for shore, but if I started to walk again, they stayed in the water, and followed along. I stopped at the far end, and they came up out of the water, and began to graze. Ducks and geese graze differently than large grass eaters. They eat the tops of the grass, the seed heads, so instead of putting their heads down, they stretch their necks up.

After they were busy with that, I went back to check on the old mare, and she wasn't done, so I fed the cats, and fired up the push mower to cut the tall weeds between the barn and the potting table where we feed the cats. By the time that was done, so was she, and I let her back in with the other mares, and returned to the house. I was hot and tired, but it felt good to get out and get some little bit done after sitting in the hospital for the last 9-10 days.

new email address...

For those of you who would like to comment on my blog, but don't want to have to set up a new account to do so, here is my new hotmail address. ljb552009(at)hotmail.com

This will be just for my blog, because I have another account for farm business, and another personal account for sca and everything else.

Finished my first chemo today, and feel good. Steroids will do that to you.

Longer, bring everyone up to speed...

I'm sitting in infusion therapy, with the TV on, my laptop in my lap, the head of the bed cranked up, under a blanket,with a blood pressure cuff on my right bicep, and an IV running into my left wrist/arm. I have a makeshift splint made of a plastic spoon on the outside, and a plastic knife on the inside, taped in place, to keep me from bending my wrist and cutting off the flow of chemo into my arm.

The bone scan shows no sign that the cancer has spread in that direction. That is good news. When talking with my oncologist, he assured me that there are several studies that showed no benefit from finding breast metastatic disease earlier. He also gave copies of the write-up of the studies. He said he himself had a hard time believing it, but that it seems to be true. He said that most likely the cancer was in my lungs already when I was first diagnosed, but was microscopic, so didn't show in the scans, or ex rays taken at that time. the previous chemo was intended to catch and destroy any of that kind of tiny tumors, but it didn't work in my case.

He will want to monitor my reaction to the chemo by repeating the CT scan in about 6 weeks. My treatment will be ongoing, consisting of being given a chemo drug until it stops being effective, or the side effects outstrip the benefits, at which time I will start on a course of some other chemo, until...and so on, and so on, and so on...That I should live my life to the fullest, and not treat myself like an invalid.

I'll be returning in 3 weeks for my next treatment. I told him I was exploring other, homeopathic treatments, and he said to make sure I told him what I was going to be taking,as some chemos didn't work as well with some supplements.

I'm going to apply for Social Security disability, since This is chronic, and I won't be able to work...

Very quick update here...

I'm home, and will sleep in my own bed tonight. Back to MDACC to recieve the bone scan results, and start my First round of chemo. I'll keep posting here, but am asleep sitting at the keyboard tonight. snorrrr

...shock wearing off...

The shock is wearing off after getting the news from the dr at MDACC. I'm ready to get started fighting this. They want to send me home as soon as they figure out how to manage my pain at home. I'll have portable oxygen, that is the easy part... I've been sleeping sitting up. They want to send a hospital bed home for me, but there isn't room...

The drugs for pain make me very spacey...I just drift off in the middle of a sentence.

MDACC at last...

Well I'm at MDACC at last. I've spoken at length to an oncologist. My long term prognosis isn't good. The average life expectancy is 3 years after discovery. As my SCA friends know, I'm very competitive. I'm not ready to concede defeat. I intend to fight this as hard and as long as I can. I just wanted you to know...

Please pray for me, to your choice of higher power. You know I'll be raging at God about the fact that, as much as I love him, I'm not finished here...

I love the well wishes, but please, except for family, don't call me right now. I'm still reeling, and it is hard to talk about.

They are planning to do the scheduled bone scan tomorrow and start treatment on Wednesday.

I'm going to need all my friends to lend me their strength, and help me to fight this...

update...

I'm still waiting on a bed to open up at MDACC. Since it is the weekend, I don't expect anything to change till Monday. If they don't move me before noon on Monday, I'm taking the elevator to the second floor, and walking across the sky bridge over the street. if I'm sitting under their noses, they will find somewhere to put me, if only in emergency...

The pain is bearable with Morphine, and Tylenol every 4 hours or so.

Grandson sent me one of his stuffed animals to keep me company. I hang my oxygen cannula on him when I get out of bed.

Michelle walked out of the house wearing my hat, and Indy ran up to her, calling out...he was sad when it was not me.

I'm receiving so many messages from my friends, offering love and support. It is wonderful to realize how many friends I have. Thank-you.

My cancer...

I'm in St. Luke's Hospital in the Med center, waiting for a bed to open up at MDACC. I have breast cancer in my lungs, and am in such pain that they are giving me morphine every 3 hours. Please pray for me...

Cancer again?

During my discharge I was given a CD of the CT scan done of my abdomen. Being the curious cat that I am, I loaded it into my computer, as I've never seen a real scan, just what they show on TV. There were 2 options, the complete scan, and the quick review. I first opted for the complete scan, but when I realized it would take about 30 minutes to down load, I canceled, and switched.
First up was the written Dr's report. I read through it, and found the description of the NODULES. There are several in my left lung, and one in my right. The largest is almost the size of the tumor I had in my breast! I read on and came to the Dr's impressions. He, not knowing my history said they were metastatic tumors, and my history needed to be checked for corroboration.

I'm scared. It looks like it is back. The thing is, if it has had time to grow to nearly the size of my original tumor, then it was (my opinion here)most likely there last fall when I went in for my first follow up appointment. I was surprised at the time that the only tests done then were a blood test, and repeat mammogram. I expected to have the full battery that was done the year before repeated. I think that, if they had been, this would have been discovered then. I intend to bring this up with my oncologist. It is water under the bridge now, but I'm scared, and angry. No one ever said I was cured, but I was sure I had more than a year before I needed to worry about it returning.

Home...

from the hospital at last! I went to the emergency room around 1:00 AM Saturday, with bloody diarrhea, and dehydration. They decided to admit me for observation, and give me fluids, draw blood for testing, then do a CT scan of my abdomen, after reviewing my recent medical history. After telling them my reaction to Cipro earlier in the month, they went ahead and treated me with it! I didn't claim an allergy to it, but told at least 2 different people about my body's extreme reaction to the stuff. Once I stopped putting food in my mouth, I stopped running to the toilet, and settled in for the night. After the CT scan. I was moved to a regular room on the fourth floor. The night nurse went to check on treatment orders.

I guess I was used to MDACC always telling my what was going in my IV's, cause I didn't think to question... Around 5:55 AM I awoke with an urgent need to run to the toilet, the first since arrival at 1:00. The diarrhea was back! I made it, but discovered, to my dismay, that there was no toilet tissue to be found! I called the nurses station from the throne, and after bringing paper towels at first, the right supplies were brought. I was tired and groggy, so washed my hands, and crawled back into bed. At 8:00AM, I was again awakened with the very urgent message to RUN!!! This time I was more alert, and decided to check and see what the night nurse had hung around 4:00. I about had a coronary when I saw that I had been given Cipro in my IV! I clamped it off, though it was almost finished by that time, and called the nurse, so angry I was sputtering! She came to see what was the matter, and it took a while to explain why I was so upset. She went to check my chart, and it had been noted that I had had a bad reaction to Cipro, but, since I didn't say I was allergic, they prescribed it for treating my diarrhea! I raise such cane about it that they quickly listed it as an allergy! I had been given another antibiotic as well, and they continued to treat me with it, as well as prescribing it to be taken for 10 more days now that I'm home.

When the Dr came to see me, we discussed my recent bouts with diarrhea, and he decided to order a colonoscopy, and a scope of my stomach and esophagus. He also told me what MDACC most likely saw on my chest CT, there are what he called NODULES in my lungs. I asked what they were, and he said, they were considered cancer until proven otherwise...

So, I came in with diarrhea, and they started me on a clear liquid diet, and laxatives, to clean me out for the procedures. All the while giving me IV fluids, and the other antibiotics. I told the Dr about my family history, and that I was scheduled for the colonoscopy on 6/23, but, since I was there, I was glad to get it done now.

Saturday was a blur of up and down to the toilet. At bed time, they told me that I was scheduled for a 6:00 AM enema! By this time, I had a RING OF FIRE where my butt hole had been, despite cleansing with gentle baby wipes, and applying soothing creams all day, so you know how thrilled I was at this news! I told them I didn't think it was going to be necessary, and they tried to convince me it wouldn't be so bad... Since I knew I couldn't have anything by mouth after midnight, I asked for some Tylenol around 11:45, for the headache I had developed. I slept about 1 1/2 hours the whole night.

When 6:00 AM rolled around, I talked them into putting a HAT into the toilet, to show that there was nothing left inside, and they didn't insist on the enema. A small victory for me! I was told that my procedures were scheduled for 10:00AM. At 9:45, I received a call that there was 1 procedure ahead of me, an emergency had come in. I waited, and waited, and waited... My headache was back, with a stiff neck, and my mouth was so dry, I expected to see camels if I looked inside...I called my friend Lois, in Maryland,to let her know what was happening, and asked her to let my other friends know. I finally was in such agony I called the nurse's station to see if I could get something more for my headache. They had given me a small dose of morphine in my IV when I first got up, since the Tylenol had long since worn off. By this time it was 11:40, and my mouth was almost sticking together! They arrived to take me for my procedures before they could give me anything. When I got to the room, it was discovered that my IV had infiltrated, and they had to start a new one, but finally, they gave me the good stuff, and I was gone...

They found nothing wrong on the upper end, and only colitis on the other, most likely caused by the Cipro given to me back on May 7th. No other problems there, so that is good, and I won't need another for 5 years. I was discharged this morning, and am feeling pretty good...no dairy for 10 days, but so far so good...

Thursday update...

I picked up the horses, had the shoer out to reset my work horses, and went to the Dr about my fever... I'm NOT working this weekend. I have to stay home and take it easy, medicate myself, and the Dr said I could return to work on Monday... I only work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so that didn't help.

MDACC called me and they want to do another CT scan, and a Bone Scan... I'm not sure what they are looking for, but it can't be good... Pray for me...

Thursday 5/28/09

Well, the Pack-Rat is gone. They picked it up yesterday.

My job interview went well. I'll have another with the director of the school, and after that, I'll have to teach a one hour lesson on whatever subject I choose. If all that is good, I'll have a teaching job in the fall.

I think I have the H-1 N-1 flu. I'm running fever, coughing, and have diarrhea. It started yesterday afternoon, but I didn't take my temp until last night, so just thought I was tired. I had a bitch of a headache, and stiff neck, so I took my temp. My normal temp is 97.5, but last night it was 100.5. My joints hurt, and I was very tired. I fell asleep trying to watch the 10:00 news, woke up to watch Nightline, got undressed, and fell into bed. This morning, My temp is still elevated, but not as high, just 99.2.

Today I'm picking up 3 horses to board, and I'm working Friday-Sunday. Joy! I need to stay in bed today, but that's just not going to happen.